Apr. 21st, 2016

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So I guess i haven't written since i was in the middle of those depressive episodes last week. Yeah, what was that? It was so awful, but I'm doing better i think. :) So far since Sunday i've been having good days and feeling good!! Today was probably the worst of it and it was manageable and stuff. :)

Yesterday I went and met up with Kris and got Thai food. Rode my bike there and then went to Nature's Bin after and got more ingredients for high fiber soup and stuff... pretty cool. :) One bad thing is I've taken 3 vikeys since Saturday...lol no doubt that's part of why i'm feeling better.. but how did Jessica Jones put it? Sobriety blows..lol So maybe I'm backsliding a little, but i don't care as long as it doesn't wreck me. I do have a packed weekend but i'm excited for it!!! Going to throw tomorrow night in a blind draw.. see Weiser.. maybe play womens with Christine.. then Saturday is the big Parma chess tourney! So glad I'm going. Don't really care how I do. I really am enjoying the process of learning chess.. sometimes i feel like i'm doing well and understanding the game better! And then sometimes i make moves that i can't believe how bad they are..haha Its ok though. I did lose all 3 games on Tuesday for the first time but everyone in the pool was like 1400-1600 and I was 1189 so yeah... I'm supposed to lose all 3 and it shouldn't hurt my rating.

I'm kinda tired right now even though i took a vikey.. I hope i wake up.. i want to enjoy this night but get tired around 11pm or so :) hehe I do feel pretty good though and then Sunday i have a full day to enjoy again!!

Oh and one of the best things is that Bobby didn't blow me off like I thought. That did really hurt my feelings and make me feel so insecure.. but no! He just didn't get my texts!! And now he's texting me often. :) I really want to be friends with him and get to hang out and stuff... so I'm very.. relieved.. So i guess things are going in a good direction right now. Don't feel so trapped. I'm hopeful. :)


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