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[personal profile] eris_discordia
Well I got back from the trip to Columbus this weekend. I've been thinking a lot lately about how my fire for cornhole seems to be gone. I just don't really care. I don't care about practicing or getting better or even winning things. I didn't get nervous before the Scoonie tourney and I just didn't care that much when we lost. Normally it would make me a little upset but I was kind of glad not to play anymore. I did have fun playing Keith after so I guess I was somewhat into it.

I'm nervous about where this will lead me though. I'm clearly drifting away lately and I've instead been way more into chess. I think a chess tourney sounds better than a cornhole tourney! I mean, I've enjoyed a lot of benefits from being good at cornhole and I know that on this path I will get passed up probably by Christine but maybe many others as well. Then again, I don't need to engage myself to cornhole every day forever. Maybe its best to not worry about it and just do what I want. Its possible the fire could come back. The things I've always liked about cornhole are still there; aside from the closeness I felt with Christine and Mike. But Weiser and others are still involved; esp Caleb. It would help if he was closer, but he isn't.

Chess is starting to become relaly interesting though. Who knows if that will keep up though. I could attend my first tourney or hit a wall and not be able to improve and then it might not be as interesting. But for now I really like it! I wish I could play all the time. :)

So I guess we'll see what happens. But I can say that I'm not interested in traveling as much anymore. And chasing points seems pointless. I guess I'll just take this one day at a time and figure it out from there. Bc right now if I had the choice I would just strongly prefer to distance myself a bit and do some other things. If I lose tourneys I really don't care.. but would I miss the money? the people? the competition? I have no idea. Hopefully yes, bc right now its not looking good for my cornhole future.
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