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Hello LJ,

I know it's been awhile since I've updated. I've been updating actually, just privately. It helps me get my head together, and well, when you write for yourself it's liberating and can even calm you. I guess I've been in a place where I need that.

In all honestly, I'm not unhappy with my life right now. I'm unhappy with ONE ASPECT of my life and that is my relationship with Chrissie. It's like the relationship died in December and we've been trying to resuscitate a dead carcass since then. Guess what. We haven't had any luck.

I've always had the problem of letting go, but I can't say I've had a girlfriend this bad at at the same time. The result? A pretty miserable first few months of 2011, in terms of the relationship. I can't say it doesn't hurt me terribly, because it does. I just got down breaking down again downstairs. The worst part of this has been the signs of hope, and then the hope being pulled out from under me again like a small rug. I'm fine when I'm on that rug, but take it away and I'm going to fall down again.

Read more... )

So there you go. If anyone reads all this let me know, because I will be impressed. lol

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