No fire, just smoke
Nov. 1st, 2015 06:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eris_discordiaWell I got back from the trip to Columbus this weekend. I've been thinking a lot lately about how my fire for cornhole seems to be gone. I just don't really care. I don't care about practicing or getting better or even winning things. I didn't get nervous before the Scoonie tourney and I just didn't care that much when we lost. Normally it would make me a little upset but I was kind of glad not to play anymore. I did have fun playing Keith after so I guess I was somewhat into it.
I'm nervous about where this will lead me though. I'm clearly drifting away lately and I've instead been way more into chess. I think a chess tourney sounds better than a cornhole tourney! I mean, I've enjoyed a lot of benefits from being good at cornhole and I know that on this path I will get passed up probably by Christine but maybe many others as well. Then again, I don't need to engage myself to cornhole every day forever. Maybe its best to not worry about it and just do what I want. Its possible the fire could come back. The things I've always liked about cornhole are still there; aside from the closeness I felt with Christine and Mike. But Weiser and others are still involved; esp Caleb. It would help if he was closer, but he isn't.
Chess is starting to become relaly interesting though. Who knows if that will keep up though. I could attend my first tourney or hit a wall and not be able to improve and then it might not be as interesting. But for now I really like it! I wish I could play all the time. :)
So I guess we'll see what happens. But I can say that I'm not interested in traveling as much anymore. And chasing points seems pointless. I guess I'll just take this one day at a time and figure it out from there. Bc right now if I had the choice I would just strongly prefer to distance myself a bit and do some other things. If I lose tourneys I really don't care.. but would I miss the money? the people? the competition? I have no idea. Hopefully yes, bc right now its not looking good for my cornhole future.
I'm nervous about where this will lead me though. I'm clearly drifting away lately and I've instead been way more into chess. I think a chess tourney sounds better than a cornhole tourney! I mean, I've enjoyed a lot of benefits from being good at cornhole and I know that on this path I will get passed up probably by Christine but maybe many others as well. Then again, I don't need to engage myself to cornhole every day forever. Maybe its best to not worry about it and just do what I want. Its possible the fire could come back. The things I've always liked about cornhole are still there; aside from the closeness I felt with Christine and Mike. But Weiser and others are still involved; esp Caleb. It would help if he was closer, but he isn't.
Chess is starting to become relaly interesting though. Who knows if that will keep up though. I could attend my first tourney or hit a wall and not be able to improve and then it might not be as interesting. But for now I really like it! I wish I could play all the time. :)
So I guess we'll see what happens. But I can say that I'm not interested in traveling as much anymore. And chasing points seems pointless. I guess I'll just take this one day at a time and figure it out from there. Bc right now if I had the choice I would just strongly prefer to distance myself a bit and do some other things. If I lose tourneys I really don't care.. but would I miss the money? the people? the competition? I have no idea. Hopefully yes, bc right now its not looking good for my cornhole future.
